How about a joke of the day

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pete
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Re: How about a joke of the day

Post by pete » Jun 25th, '17, 12:40

A farmer buys a young new rooster as the old one is no longer up to the job as soon as he gets it home the young rooster goes to work and screws all the farmers 200 hens.The farmer is impressed and after lunch the rooster does it all over again.
Next day he's onto all the ducks geese and turkeys, sadly later in the day the farmer finds the young rooster lying on the ground half dead and vultures circling overhead and . The farmer says serves you right you horny bastard.
the rooster opens one eye points up and says SHHHHH They're about to land
AS LONG AS I DONT SEE MY NAME IN THE OBITUARIES IM HAPPY,AND IF A MAN IS BUSY HE DOESN"T HAVE TIME TO DIE

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pete
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Re: How about a joke of the day

Post by pete » Jul 4th, '17, 12:06

Lovely lady of mature years passes away and finds herself outside the pearly gates chatting to saint Peter
While they are talking she hears a horrible scream come from the other side of the gates concerned she asks what was that sound
Oh nothing to be alarmed about just a new arrival having the holes drilled to accept their wings
A bit later another blood curdling scream floats by and more concerned than before she asks what was that
Once again the reply is nothing to be worried about just another new arrival having the hole drilled to accept there Halo
The old girl stands up and says this is not for me I am going to hell
well says saint Pete you do realize you will be raped and sodomized for all of eternity
she replies yes I understand but at least I already have the holes for that
AS LONG AS I DONT SEE MY NAME IN THE OBITUARIES IM HAPPY,AND IF A MAN IS BUSY HE DOESN"T HAVE TIME TO DIE

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chy_farm
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Re: How about a joke of the day

Post by chy_farm » Jul 4th, '17, 15:03

Is she optimistic or pessimistic that is the question only she can answer...
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Re: How about a joke of the day -words of wisdom

Post by dancbx » Jul 11th, '17, 03:07

I'm so miserable without you, it's like having you here. The wife was not impressed.
LOUD SAWS SAVE LIVES.

joc
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Re: How about a joke of the day

Post by joc » Jul 18th, '17, 20:20

Man nearly killed by chainsaw prank

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCM5zQJL-LA

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William Greene
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Re: How about a joke of the day

Post by William Greene » Jul 18th, '17, 21:29

:shock:

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Breese
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Re: How about a joke of the day

Post by Breese » Jul 19th, '17, 18:02

This is Real Funny...
It's called the LA Speed Check
SR-71 pilot talking about ground speeds...
I cannot stop laughing!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg73GKm7GgI
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Re: How about a joke of the day

Post by joc » Jul 19th, '17, 19:49

Breese wrote:
Jul 19th, '17, 18:02
This is Real Funny...
It's called the LA Speed Check
SR-71 pilot talking about ground speeds...
I cannot stop laughing!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg73GKm7GgI
That was GREAT!

Some years back I got to hear Scott O'Grady speak about being shot down over Bosnia. He was very entertaining also.

His wingman told him about the huge fireball when his plane was hit. He says "Man, I wish I could have seen that!"

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pete
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Re: How about a joke of the day

Post by pete » Aug 8th, '17, 11:09

An elderly couple were driving across the country. The wife was driving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.
The officer said, "Ma'am did you know you were speeding?"
The woman, hard of hearing, turns to her husband and asks, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He says you were speeding!"
The patrolman says, "May I see your license?"
The woman turns to her husband and asks again, "What did he say?" The old man yells, "He wants to see your license!"
The woman gave the officer her license. The patrolman says, "I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some time there once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I've ever seen."
The woman turned to her husband and asked, "What did he say?" And the old man yells, "He said he knows you!"
--
AS LONG AS I DONT SEE MY NAME IN THE OBITUARIES IM HAPPY,AND IF A MAN IS BUSY HE DOESN"T HAVE TIME TO DIE

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Re: How about a joke of the day

Post by jack-rijn » Aug 8th, '17, 15:59

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
:thumbs:
Always nice to here a old twostroke running

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